Fugitivus Discussion Forum

...Huh. Yeah, I get snow just looking at any expanse of a single flat colour, or even things that already have patterns if the pattern is subtle enough. I hadn't even thought about it until now; it seemed so normal.

Tinnitus
And yeah, I get that too, sometimes it's annoying, usually (like right now) it's just there, and sometimes it goes away completely. I figured out its rough frequency once, by generating a bunch of different sound files, but then I forgot xD
And yeah, I can hear television sets too. And certain types of lightbulbs for that matter. Those are both annoying as hell.

Ah, TV whine. I also get the silence whine, which given that I absolutely hate silence anyway, makes it worse.

I've always seen a kind of fuzziness composed of different colors, especially if I'm looking at a white wall. I think that's the normal kind, though? Or at least common. And lately I've been hearing... Actually, I don't remember what it sounds like, and if I did I'm sure it'd be hard to describe anyway, but it's a kind of rumble-buzz almost. I started hearing it one day, and I had to focus on it to get it to come back, and it always comes and goes, it's never an ongoing sound. The other day I noticed I kept hearing it without focusing on it.

My professor has had some trouble interpreting students' stories recently. In one of them, there was a character who didn't actually exist except in the narrator's mind, and almost every student in the class picked up on that, but the professor didn't pick up on it and said that there wasn't enough indication. In my own story, one character says the main character has locked her emotions away, and it's pretty explicit that that character is wrong (the main character actually doesn't experience trauma because of her fictional neurological condition), but the professor thought the other character was right. It's kind of inconvenient to have a writing class where the professor isn't in your target audience.

I don't like, in general, the way our class is focusing more on what our stories should be about than on how they should be written.

P.S. I know one of my characters is violent, aggressive, and hard to sympathize with, but you don't have to describe her in sexist terms in your feedback. Sncrly, Eli

So, I met a total douchebag this morning!

Some highlights:

(in a conversation about why I'm hoping to transfer, in terms of my college's lack of support in terms of various social issues)
Me: For instance, you hardly see anyone with a physical disability* on this campus, because it's, like, totally inaccessible.
Douchebag: How does that affect you?


(after we turned to neurodiversity in particular)
Me: I'm personally someone who's very neurologically different from most people.
Douchebag: You seem pretty normal.


Me: I'm a lot less normal than I look. For instance, I'm a non-empath.
(one description of non-empathy later:)
Douchebag: Did you not have a lot of social interaction when you were much younger?
Me: That's true.
Douchebag: [5 minute monologue about how maybe my lack of empathy is a result of my environment, basically ignoring me when I point out that my lack of social interaction was a result of my disinterest, rather than a cause]

(At the end of the monologue, I did rather bluntly tell him what he was doing wrong there.)

(in a later conversation with cool people)
Me: So, I feel like, "hey look! It's that thing from, like, feminism and stuff, where a member of the dominant class tells a member of the oppressed class about their own experiences! Now I have practical experience in it!"

Most of those were paraphrased, of course, but they really were pretty much how I'm telling them. For some reason, I think this is just hilarious; it feels kind of surreal since I normally manage to surround myself with people who aren't like that at all.

*my actual phrase, but not one I would have used in hindsight. "Physical disability" isn't the right phrase there; maybe I was looking for "locomotive disability"? I think what I meant was "people who can't use stairs and people who can't walk long distances" but I don't know if Douchebag would have understood that if I had said it outright, without broad identifier words like "disability" or "handicap".

Wow, yep. That is indeed a total douchebag. Well spotted.

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