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Kaie
 Post subject: reflections of abuse in guilt
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:04 am
Posts: 273
Location: Washington State
so uh... I'm not sure how to phrase this, really.

TW for abusive family, guilt around uncontrollable situations, unemployment, etc

Spoiler: show
I found out from my grandma that my dad lost his job last week.

And while my first reaction is "tough titties, fuckface," my secondary [and longer-lasting] feeling is guilt. Utter guilt because I'm telling myself not to care. I can't care, I can't let myself get emotionally involved again for my own good, and I still want to. I can't even do anything, and yet...

it's all just tearing me apart and ugh. perfect timing, universe. just perfect fucking timing.

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Isabel Knight
 Post subject: Re: reflections of abuse in guilt
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:17 am 
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Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:11 am
Posts: 511
Location: Alaska: Where nature hates you and wants you to die
Oh man, Kaie, I'm sorry. I wish I had something more useful to offer than internet hugs and sympathy :(

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I'm a wicked young lady but I been trying hard lately
Oh fuck it, I'm a monster, I admit it!
It makes me so mad my blood really starts a-going
La la la la, la la la lie
Sooner or later, we all gotta die

Curse of Millhaven- Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

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Eirwyn
 Post subject: Re: reflections of abuse in guilt
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:15 am 
That's really terrible, Kaie, I'm sorry. *Racks her brain...* I think the remedy to guilt is supposed to be genuine sorrow, but I don't know if that applies here because it's guilt over something you've thought rather than something you've done.
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MomTFH
 Post subject: Re: reflections of abuse in guilt
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:55 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 3:28 am
Posts: 534
Location: Edge of the Everglades
I'm sorry. I guess you're feeling guilty because you are a compassionate human being, and that is not the worst thing in the world to be. Yes, it hurts, especially when other people are not deserving of such compassion.
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