Learn Hexadecimal wrote:
Do you shut yourself up? Do you find that your tendencies to speak or be silent are ruled by your mood over the actual content of what you are or aren't saying, perhaps despite efforts to the contrary? Does it help you to stop shutting up when other people encourage you to share your opinions and experiences?*
All the damn time. I haven't even posted an intro here because I start to write and then think "oh, that makes you look bad" or "oh, you sound like an idiot there" or "I CAN'T HANDLE THE POSSIBILITY OF NEGATIVITY ABOUT THAT." Or similar. The worst part is that I rationally know (from other feminist boards) that nothing I have to say is invalid.
For me, it always pops up when I'm depressed. It's kind of funny, because I just want to write up a thousand posts and get everything out in a safe environment, but that damn self-censorship just prevents me from making minor edits and clicking "submit." I wound up coming back here to finally post something because I'm hitting a really rough patch again and given that money is the biggest reason for stress, I'm not exactly able to run off to a therapist. And, well, given that I'm one of those people who can talk (or type, as the case may be) at length, read some responses, and cobble together some understandings about myself, I figure this is as close to therapy as I'm getting for awhile. Hey, it's better than nothing, right?