Quixotess, I'm sorry to hear about your menstrual weirdness - it sounds really aggravating. Mine tend to be regular just long enough that I start to think I can predict them (4 to 9 months of consistent spacing and length and severity), and then they go all wonky (late or missing, different types/order of blood and tissue discharge, unusual PMS symptoms) and throw me into a panic, occasionally stressing me out so much that my body further screws it up. You have my sympathy - the odd cycle length and prolonged bleeding sounds really unpleasant to deal with.
I have a non-uterine body rant as well: Dear abdominal muscles, what the fuck is up with you? Sit-ups have never been an issue for us before - I've sent the little neurological signals scurrying along the nerves to you, and you've always gone "righty-o boss, we'll contract and pull your upper torso upright." I liked our working relationship, and I've always tried to treat you nicely, not pushing too hard when you got sore, making sure to block strikes in sparring so you wouldn't have to act as armor for my squishy organs, and generally trying to keep you and your buddies in my lower back strong and happy and undamaged. I haven't injured you, or neglected you particularly, so why, for the love of all that is holy, have you decided that sit-ups and crunches are no longer covered by your employment contract? You did them happily up until this summer, when I went on the crazy pills and dropped a bunch of weight. Really, it should be EASIER for you to pull me upright, now that there's less of me to pull. All my other muscle groups have recovered and are pulling their weight again. So why the refusal to cooperate? This is getting downright embarrassing, and you're not giving me any other indications of something being wrong, so I can only assume this is willful malevolence on your part.
I'm a wicked young lady but I been trying hard lately
Oh fuck it, I'm a monster, I admit it!
It makes me so mad my blood really starts a-going
La la la la, la la la lie
Sooner or later, we all gotta die
Curse of Millhaven- Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds