Basically, I feel like saying "you weren't raped. You intentionally, truthfully, voluntarily consented. You could call the douche a douche but he didn't commit rape."
Okay, so preface of my experience goes something like this:
I had an ex who was manipulative. In the particular instance I'm remembering, he coaxed/cajoled/coerced me into performing oral sex, by asking over and over again until I stopped saying "no" and finally said "okay." I never felt good about that experience. I was terrified that his roommate would walk into the room, or that someone would somehow see through the window and blinds. I didn't really want to do it, but I couldn't come up with any good reason *not* to, other than reasons that I thought just meant I was a scaredy-cat/prude.
So. Did I consent, in that situation? Technically I agreed to the sex. Was the consent enthusiastic? Was it freely given? Hell no (I wasn't forced, physically, but manipulation is, in my opinion, a form of emotional "forcing" that can be just as difficult to resist). So is that rape? I think if one is being *extremely* technical, then no, it was not. But it sure as heck didn't feel right.
All by way of saying I think that we often hesitate to use the term rape because it has been pushed further and further back into the "very serious, don't accuse lightly" realm by apologists. But I think if one rejects the taboo-ness of the word, then it is possible to apply it to any occasion on which there is a lack of enthusiastic consent, without diminishing the "super bad" sort of rape-esque experiences. Just because someone got someone else to give a "technical" consent doesn't mean manipulation wasn't used in the process. And I think the use of manipulation colors the consent to something more approaching non-consent.
So I have no idea anymore if I've addressed the question you were getting at, Kulantan... I'd like to discuss in more detail, though, and hopefully clarify some of my rambling.Edited to add: I would like to clarify that I did not identify this encounter as anything even approaching a form of assault until a long time after it happened. Had you asked me, at the time, if I consented, I would have said yes. But now I am not so sure, and so perhaps this is a form of after-the-fact consent-revocation.