Fugitivus Discussion Forum

This question is tricky! TRICKY I SAY!!!!
So I'm not gonna answer it in the abstract and just say how I think I would feel personally. wheee.
ummm basically if I caught onto it I'd be weirded out just a little, just a teensy bit! Because ideally I'd like to be treated like a person! But I probably wouldn't notice and I do like people being nice to me (and trying to be nice back) soooooooooooooo I dunno 8D

I don't see any problems, personally. It's what I would do, although I'm trans myself so that might make a difference depending on the circumstances. I mean... that sort of tendency for me at least feels like such a natural thing, there would probably be a direct correlation between how much (presumably extra) effort I would put into my job and how far the customer(s) is(are) from high amounts of privilege. (that I could tell anyways).

I'm not really sure what it would mean if that was a bad thing. Surely you could do it incorrectly, but hmm...

What it would be like on the other side of things though... Personally: I really have no idea. To be honest. But thats because of social anxiety and autism and not because of being trans :+. I mean, if the circumstances are right, someone saying "hey I like your shirt" can send my brain spinning so... (Not that putting in extra effort, Quixotess, would equate to complimenting people's shirts, but, someone being nicer then I expect can really confuse and fluster me.)

More in general... I've heard experiences from one of my partners where this sort of thing happened and they appreciated it, and I know I would appreciate it too if I was in the mental state I'm in now XD;

Do most trans people experience feelings of being stuck in the wrong gender/sex from an early age, or are there a significant amount of people who don't experience those feelings until later in life? How many of those people are people who don't consciously realize they're trans until a later age (due to, y'know, persistent conservative upbringing or whatever) and then look back at their childhood and go 'yeah, in hindsight I guess it should have been obvious', compared to people who never even considered being anything but cis for 20+ years and then all of a sudden something clicks and they realize they disagree vehemently with their body? (I'm not asking for numbers, just some sort of an estimate about whether or not this ever actually happens to anyone.)

I feel like I'm phrasing something in there wrong, but I mentally replaced everything in there with LGBQI equivalents and it seemed fine to lil ol' non-straight me, sooooo I hope it's okay. >_<

I'm not sure of the numbers, but lots of trans people figure out later in life. I only figured it out personally when I was about 16. And there are definitely all sorts of clues and hints through out my childhood, but of course thats not necessary.

The idea that everyone realizes they're trans when little is a cis narrative. To make things more "palatable".

This is not a specific question, but more of a general request for information:

Some common ways allies tend to fuck up?

I know that I've done things like, speaking for trans people when trying to fight trans phobia, and trying to alleviate dysphoria by saying, "Hey, I have that too! It's okay!" >.< I'd really like to avoid those in the future. Nobody has told me directly I was fucking up, which makes it especially worrisome- I found out later through reading blogs and stuff.

(I should be reading things anyway, and it's not like it's anyone's job to constantly point things out to me, I just get nervous about how long mistakes stand uncorrected or unapologized for. XD; )

I started my ob/gyn rotation. I just want to say I feel like a total turd about everything I wrote on here about the midwife. I feel like I was totally policing her gender conformity, and was doing it as a titillating exercise in how cool I am as an ally. I have no idea where she falls on any cis or trans or other spectrum and it's none of my business. I'd like to apologize to all of you, and apologize to her in spirit.