Fugitivus Discussion Forum

I thought here would be a good place for people to post examples of men they've known who've been great men*, but specifically great partners (romantic or just sexual), and why they thought their actions were great.

*Also ladies and genderqueer people, but the board is named Stuff What Boys Can Do, so I thought I'd start there. Shall add a story or two when it's not early in the AM.

Ok, so, example one.
When my boyfriend and I were in the stage between close friends and definitely fully together as a couple, where we weren't quite sure of what we were but we were something, I was having a rough time with my home situation, and he offered for me to come over for downtime and cuddles. It was a cold night, and we were hanging out mostly platonically in bed under the covers, and I moved to kiss him. Before reciprocating, he asked me if I was sure I was ok and definitely wanted to engage in makeouts, because he knew I was in a bad place emotionally. He said he didn't want me to feel obligated to do anything I didn't want to do just because we were in bed together, especially when I had come to his place to feel safe and cared for, to get away from somewhere else where I didn't feel that way on that day. I did decide to go ahead with makeouts and various associated activities, but every step of the way, he kept stopping to affirm consent.
This wasn't an isolated incident; every time we're together and having any sort of sexual activity, if I'm not seeming like I'm enthusiastically engaged or at least having fun for any reason, he stops and says, "Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop or do something else," or something similar. If I say I'm not that into it, he asks whether there's anything he can do to make things better and more fun, or whether I'd rather just stop entirely for now. And when I answer, he listens and responds accordingly. And does not whinge about it, even if he is disappointed that he couldn't make things fun for me.
This is what Doin' Sexual Activity Right looks like.

That's seriously awesome. I got a little mood boost hearing about that.

Wow, Graphite. Sounds like a really wonderful, respectful relationship.

Graphite, that story warms my heart. That is the kind of man I aspire to be.

I'm a lucky, and happy, lass.

That said, I'm hoping to hear some stories from other posters. I, perhaps naively, want to believe he's not that rare.

My partner is pretty much like yours, Graphite. Spoilered for sex talk, nothing too graphic, but still, thought best to be safe:

Yay for awesome partners! My boyfriend is the same way. (spoilercut for sex talk to be on the safe side)



I lurve my boy.

I have like no sex drive. At all.

My fiancee is okay with that.

That's good enough for me.

I asked a few friends on facebook to contribute stories of "someone you've known who's been a wonderful, respectful and kind partner", explaining to them in brief that it was for an internet forum with a large contingent of survivors of abuse. These are less examples of 'doing it right' and more just stories of support and love, because that seemed to be the sort of story people wanted to tell, but this still seemed the right thread for them.

Spoilered for references to a trauma/shock reaction.


These two refer to struggles with mental illness, and the second to suicidal thoughts and thoughts of possible institutionalisation.