I asked a few friends on facebook to contribute stories of "someone you've known who's been a wonderful, respectful and kind partner", explaining to them in brief that it was for an internet forum with a large contingent of survivors of abuse. These are less examples of 'doing it right' and more just stories of support and love, because that seemed to be the sort of story people wanted to tell, but this still seemed the right thread for them.
My mom had cancer for ten years. During those ten years she went through many treatments - chemo, tests and so on. I really don't know everything about it. My dad went with her to almost every single test or treatment she had. He only missed once because he had to be abroad for work, and he asked her brother to go with her instead.
The doctors and nurses said they were amazed that he just kept going with her every single time, that they haven't seen anyone do that before.
Spoilered for references to a trauma/shock reaction.
Okay. I definitely have nothing that even slightly compares to the previous post, however I have a little something thats made me smile...
One time I had a bit of a rough patch with the authorities which involved them coming to my house to look for me. The whole ordeal seriously sent my body into shock. By the time they'd left, I was so shaken up that I couldn't move.
My partner at the time sat with me for 4 hours on the couch just holding me while I shook like crazy.
I've got like a million other stories of the countless times he really just rescued me. Because I can't think of another word to more accurately describe who/what he was to me, and everything he did for me.
He was always saving me.
No questions asked.
My personal Superman ♥
A friend of mine suffers from a chronic pain disorder. Some days she can cope and function like anyone else, other days she cannot even grasp a pencil. Things can change for the worse with little or no warning.
Her partner accepts that each day is different and loves her with patience and dedication. He cooks, cleans, soothes and kisses, runs errands and does what he can to help her prepare for the next if-and-when spell of pain. He also works full-time and does not live permanently with her.
He is a genuine supporter, a how-can-I-help-you-er rather than a I-will-do-everything-for-you-er, and I imagine this helps keep a balance in the relationship as well as helping her maintain some degree of independence.
They are both such strong, beautiful, praise-worthy people.
These two refer to struggles with mental illness, and the second to suicidal thoughts and thoughts of possible institutionalisation.
Every one of my boyfriends has had to deal with my mental illness in some form or another, I have put them through situations that are incredibly difficult to deal with and situations that most people would not be able to handle and they have all been wonderful, sticking by me and helping me through them. particularly O, he helped me through so much and even now that we aren't dating he is still an amazing support.
And one about a female partner:
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a very debilitating mental illness, causing extremes of emotion, and triggers fear of abandonment a lot. Needless to say, this has been something a romantic partner has never been able to put up with before. Until I met C. C had her own problems, her own fears and insecurities, but they never got in front of mine to her. No matter what, she was willing to be there for me and to reassure me.
It got to the point where I finally sought treatment, not at her behest, as she never had a bad word to say about me, but just so that I could be a better person for her, to match her. We're not together anymore, and haven't been for a long time, but thanks to her patience and understanding I was on the road to helping myself. Now I can live my life, and have control the majority of the time. If I hadn't met her, then chances are I'd be dead right now, or sectioned away. There is no-one who means as much to me as she does, no-one who's ever done more.