Fugitivus Discussion Forum

All right, I'll start us off.

A few minutes ago my brother was talking about this movie (I think it was called 'Philadelphia') where a gay man got AIDs after having anonymous sex in a porn theater. I could see where this was going (the gay people are promiscuous stereotype) so I got on his case about it. He had some gems, like "the things gay people do are grosser" and "you don't hear about straight people doing each other in porn theaters, they keep their hands to themselves while they're in there". I told him he sounded homophobic, and he said "I'm all right with homosexuals," and I said, "Yeah, but you believe stereotypes about them," and he said in this comically condescending, mansplainy way, "I believe facts." FACTS. He also turned my homophobic accusation against me in the most ridiculous way.

So, there. Yeesh.

But you hear about straight people doing each other in regular ol' movie theaters. Is that somehow better? Wow. Just. Just wow.

Yuck.

I'll add one. It's disabilist to boot! Trigger warning for a violent threat, and obviously for homophobia.

There is a business owner I heard discussing a man who called his office, and he claims the man said he was going to report him for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act for his office not being accessible if he didn't give him $5,000. The business owner said "What is your name?" and the caller told him. Then, business owner said "I have military training. I am going to find you and kick your ass." He says the caller hung up, and never filed the complaint. So, the moral to the story? "Not only was he a piece of shit, but he was also a faggot."

Nice.

I've been aware of my brother's homophobia for a long time, but I didn't know how far he would go to express it. I visited his ex-wife a while ago, and was told a pretty horrifying story.

Before they were married, they'd gone out to breakfast one Sunday with a few friends, and were walking home. They passed a 'typical queen' looking guy, wearing a pink turtle-neck and walking a diamante-collared bichon frise. In a clearly audible, aggressive tone, my brother calls out 'fuckin' faggot', and keeps walking. Amazingly (my brother's fairly physically intimidating), the guy turned, and called him out on it, basically daring him to say it again - and according to Jess (the ex), he would have, if she hadn't told him that if he did, she'd be moving out of their house.

Thankfully, in the eight or so years since this happened, life's kicked my brother around a bit. One of his long-term buddies came out a few years ago, and his second wife confronted him about his homophobia, which seems to have actually led to him questioning his beliefs (or at the very least, behaviours). To be honest, I can see how his homophobia went basically unquestioned until he was in his early twenties - we grew up in an almost exclusively white, straight, conservative rural community in an isolated and insular place. But I just cannot understand this drive to reduce people to their gender or sexuality.

Ugh, those are horrible. I'm glad, at least, that your brother is starting to change a little, Tevarre.

Had another experience today with homophobia from the same person I complained about above. He said that, while he seems to be all self-styled libertarian-y, hates religion, and doesn't think we should legislate morality, he thinks liberals are forcing their extreme ideas on people when they want to teach kids that homosexuality is OK in schools. No elementary school kids should be taught that a kid can have two mothers or two fathers. Yeah, because morality shouldn't be legislated, but bigotry should be protected?

I'm not entirely certain if this really falls under homophobia since biphobia is a horse of a different colour in many ways, but I was told a month ago by a coworker that I'm not dyke-ish enough to lean toward the lesbian end of the spectrum. And there's no way I'm bi, because I am currently in a hetero relationship and engaged, so clearly I was just saying so for attention. The really sad part? The only reason I told him is because he's openly gay and I figured if there was anyone I worked with that wouldn't make that assumption, it would be him. Wrong.

This might just be a case of me being oversensitive but this review really bothered me.

I understand that some people want to exaggerate some things for humor and that controversial things are ripe for making humor, but... Wow, this video focuses on it far too much in my opinion. There's really no need to keep going on and on and on about it in a stupid way and then trying to excuse yourselves for doing so later!

I wish I knew what to say other than 'ugh', to Mom and Esurio. Although yeah, biphobia does seem to be something different entirely because I too have noticed both homosexual people and straight people ragging on the bi people.

Shadow, if I could watch that, I'd give my comment, but I have no sound.

Another possible example:

I'm part of a LGBT guild on a socializing/community website, and some troll is going, "THIS IS A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE, SO WHERE'S THE REPRESENTATION OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE?" He's being a total attention whore and making it all about him, as if the whole world doesn't acknowledge and represent his sexuality as it is, in this ONE place that caters to people different from him, HE has to be the center of attention. The poor thing is that people are being apologetic and polite with him when they should be giving him the boot for being a troll.

Esurio - if I could turn this into something with which to hit people who claim that I'm not queer because I've been in straight relationships, I would be very happy. I don't like ragging on the queer community, but I find bi-hate from other queers harder to deal with than the same opinions expressed by people who don't know what it's like to be dismissed for their sexuality.

Emi - that was a review? Coulda fooled me - kind of felt like listening to some kind of tolerance test for joining the International Heteronormative Assembly or something. All those 'gay nazis', they're troublemakers, they are... *eyeroll*. How the hell does that pass as criticism, in ANY form?