Fugitivus Discussion Forum

Agh, MomTHF, that sucks. : (

Here's a little more from my POV...

A not infrequent (though fortunately not frequent) occurrence in my household is when my movement disorder acts up and I start walking oddly, stepping really high, with my arms in the air. Mother cracks wise about how I look like the Karate Kid doing his crane stance.

I understand it's hard for you to see your daughter in pain, mom. I understand that sometimes we just have to laugh not to cry, but HELLO, I get to decide when you get to laugh with me. You do not get to decide when I'm in the mood to be laughed at. If I'm giggling about being frozen in place, you may safely assume that you may also giggle. If I am not laughing, you may not make jokes. I don't see why this is so hard to understand or why this infringes on your rights so much. I know it sucks for you. But it's not exactly a picnic for me, either.

/rant

Ansalathon, I'm sorry she does that. :C

MomTFH, that so sucks that people in your OR are like that, but I"m glad to know there are people like you out there to counter it. FWIW, I think that waiting until she left to bring up the unacceptability of the anesthesiologist's behavior was a great idea - it helped to frame the issue as "this is an unacceptable instance of workplace harassment/discrimination" instead of "Don't pick on this specific woman, who didn't say anything about it" - the latter, I think would have need easier for him to brush off. In short, you rock extra hard, and I hope that I find a doctor as awesome as you.

Ansalathon, I'm really sorry, that's a truly crappy situation, especially when the person you're trying to explain it to gets all butt-hurt about being asked not to mock you. I hope she gets it soon.

This! MomTFH, that is the best example ever of calling someone out on their -ism without either embarrassing the victim or inducing the wriggle-around as a reaction. Knowing the medical establishment has people like you makes me feel a whole lot better.

Wow, I can't believe I missed Mom's post. That was wonderful of you, Mom, I'm so glad you said something.

Aww, y'all, thanks.

Ansalathon, your story about your mom makes me sad. You should be the one to make it funny or not, and it's not really her place to mock you or make you feel self conscious.

*Edited - whoops, was telling Eirwyn I was sorry about Ansalathon's story.!*

I hate having "wah wah wah ooooh going back to school is SO STRESSFUL, you poor baby" directed at me. Like, thanks, I know your life is hard, but the last time I was in school? I had to withdraw. Because if I hadn't I literally would have been institutionalized, and my psychologist (at the time, who I can't see anymore due to lack of insurance) agreed with me that institutionalizing me would kill me.

And now you're telling me I can't be afraid of that outcome happening again? Really.

So like. Shut up.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of that one. When I reported how many contact hours I have in my course to the social security people (it's a requirement of receiving the payment), the customer service dude responded with '3? Oh, ok. Very part-time.'

ARGH. What? I'm sorry, did you just imply that the choice I made to be sensible and set myself a reasonable goal of successfully completing one post-grad course this semester is pathetic? 'Cause it sure as hell sounded like that to me... and the last time I attempted a full-time study load, I became a gibbering mess. For 3 years. Fuck you, dude. And fuck your concern-trolling 'you know, you're still required to look for work because you're studying so little.' No. Shit. Actually, I've become pretty good at negotiating the system, because I've been living on its poverty-line income for 6 years.

Fuck. I relate so hard. I remember when I was talking in a group session at a mental health facility that I talked about how I couldn't handle school anymore, especially because I was being bullied endlessly, and some girl snarled at me that 'everybody has to deal with that', and nobody told her anything. That hurt so much. I still can't really handle school, despite not being bullied anymore. I only go one day out of the week. It's so good to know I'm not alone in this.

Hell, Eirwyn - I'm coming up on the 10th anniversary of being free of fucking high school, and I'm still regularly thankful that my life is free of that particular blight. And for all the people who keep encouraging me to go to that 10th anniversary get-together - there are no words for how much 'no' my being contains at that suggestion.