I totally feel you on the shopping cart one. My ex was emotionally abusive, and grocery shopping was awful. When I would stop at the shelf to select something, he would walk away with the cart. Invariably. Not once in a while. Constantly. I would ask him nicely to come back, and he'd be halfway down the aisle, and he would snarl at me. It was a huge control and power game with him. He would get livid with me when I expected him to wait. I would even say, go ahead and walk, just leave the cart. That's what the cart is for. It was so fucked up, too. He would stop when I stopped to select whatever item it was, and then start walking away just before I could put it in the cart. And, I am a quick shopper. It's not like I was dawdling, even though it would still be an issue if I was.
I am getting upset just thinking about it. I had to stop going to the grocery store with him. He would also throw tantrums like a child over buying tons of junk. I am not his mother, but I am a mother of two boys who was on a limited budget, and I did all the food prep. I would try to reason with him about picking one junk food item, like ice cream, or cookies, or whatever, and he would get absolutely furious with me. Like, yelling at me in the aisle like a toddler, but he was 40.
I was triggered just the other week by my older son wandering down the aisle with the cart while I was looking on the shelf at something.