Ooh, I took forever writing this and there have been replies!
So now I gotta write more O:
For me the only thing that makes a person either male or female or something else entirely is biology and this may sound terrible trans-phobic and ignorant, but I think that if our society no longer would attempt to force a gender on people and a person's sex no longer mattered than I think there would be much less need for people to "transition" or so to speak. I don't know what the preferred term is. People can come up with their own identity without having to "choose" something so specific as we have now.
Sex is not gender. Do you see me as less of a woman because of my penis?
Lots of people transition and don't identify with the gender binary.
Male and female, even biologically speaking (and I cringed to say that), is a false binary. It's not male, female, other, it's more like... doctor says this baby looks pretty male to him, makes arbitrary decision. Or a cis male person who unknowingly to everyone even himself has XXY chromosomes, but really who cares? Whatever definition you can come up with for male and female, I can find counterexamples.
Like you say, people can come up with their own identity without having to "choose" something so specific as we have now, and they *do* and many of these people are trans.
People who are not trans have privilege over people who are trans. This is a fact. Trans people get killed, or raped, or abused, or unemployed by these people. We call this cis privilege. It exists. period. Yes I can believe this without coercing you into one gender or another.
Here's my original post before that above added on stuff.
There are tons of trans people who fight against gender markers on official documents such as passports, lots of us find stuff like that really no good at all! And lots of us argue for disclosing gender or sex when we want, not when some binary box on a form wants And yeah, there are tons of people who don't fit on the M - F line. In fact most of those sentiments wouldn't be out of place on a major trans blog like Questioning Transphobia (in fact I'd recommend reading over it!). But wanting to abolish gender completely seems to me to be denying the ability of people who identify with a gender to, well, identify with a gender.
I fight for not coercing people into one gender or another, for the ability for people to identify however they want, whenever they want, changing said identity whenever they want, telling whoever they want and only what they want to tell them, and without being shamed for any of that. I fight for this for gendered people, *and* for agendered people. If gender disappears or something after people aren't coerced into it anymore, so-be-it, but for many of us, myself included, gender is a very real part of our identity, I'm never going to abolish my gender, never gonna force it on anyone either though.
Moving on, I guess I just don't see how everything comes back to the patriarchy an sexism and misogyny in the end. Everything's connected yeah, but it's not just connected one way, there's this big... meshy weshy wibbly wobbly ball of internationality. It all feeds eachother, I don't think you could just cut out all the sexism and misogyny and expect all the racism, and ableism, and homophobia, and transphobia and whatnot, to shrivel up and die, or even expect it to work for sexism.
Rather I think you'd have to treat it as a system of interlocking intersecting oppressions that all build and feed on eachother, without a head nor tail, it's heart and vital organs distributed throughout the writhing seeming mass, the entire form pulsing and swaying, people have tried to attack it only to find it turning their blade back against their fellow friend, thousands more have been swayed by it's comfortable lies, it's empty promises for salvation, or its bedazzling visions and mirages. It lets out a foul stench, corrupting the very air, twisting and warping reality around it. Many have tried to find it's center, though they have all failed, for it has no center, and has an unquenchable thirst for blood. This beast I call Kyriarchy! (or Francis for short)
(whoo ok I think I got a little carried away at the end there)