I am disturbed by what I feel is implied. I feel that from you last post where you ask me if I thought you were less of a woman because of a penis, that it is implied that things such as menstruation, pregnancy, uterine and cervical problems and problems with the ovaries that can arise, don't matter all that much in recognizing anyone as female. To me these are the only experiences that make me feel actually female. These are experiences that by definition a trans-women can't have (yet). The other stuff that always reminds me I am female is the conditioning with which I have been broad up. Though anyone who has been broad up as male from birth will have the same conditioning, they will however not be the target of it. And by "it" I mean the constant reminder that you are somehow less worthy because you are not male.
It's true I cannot menstruate, or get pregnant, or whatnot, but who cares? I can take hormones, and feel like shit when I forget, or run out. I can have boobs, and estrogen flowing through my veins, long flowing hair, or short hair, just as biological as anything you brought up up there,
but it too matters not a bit. A trans woman who takes no hormones, gets no surgery, and shares a body with a cis guy is just as much a woman as me, or anyone other woman.
And I don't say that to deny anyones personal experience with their body, but I cannot abide anyone who says anyone who doesn't have a body that's enough like theirs isn't a woman. Would a woman be less of a woman with a hysterectomy? Tricked into being raised as a man before finding out?
And that conditioning you mention. We do get constant reminders. I wore a dress for halloween one year as a kid, it was great. But there were stories about kids like that getting beaten up or worse I heard about afterwards, so I never did again for fear of my life. Throughout my teen years I was adament about not transitioning, because I was afraid everyone would see me as a freak and I'd bring shame to my family, and living an unhappy life as a man seemed better than this. As a teen I saw all the horrible misogyny and knew it was targetted at my gender. I saw all the horrible transphobia and knew it was targeted at me directly. I wanted to wear clothes I wanted to wear really bad, or to have a body I was comfortable in, and from everywhere around me came the messages "you're a freak a freak a freak"
A trans woman's experiences growing up of course aren't going to be the same as a cis woman's, but you could say the same about white women vs black women. abled women vs disabled women. queer women vs straight women. Womanly life is really varied! Would a person not be a woman if they were raised by wolves but thought of themself as a woman?
I am also a little disturbed that "cis-gendered" people, as you call us, are killing, raping and firing trans-people. I know that trans-people are in danger of becoming the target of a hate-crime every day of their lives and I absolutely think that is despicable. The situation of living in fear is however not unfamiliar to people who were assigned female at birth. It is not known as a hate-crime, though it should be, but fab women are at risk of rape, murder and being fired for being women as well. So I would like to know in what way fab women are privileged over trans-people in that way?
I never said it was unfamiliar to them, I know that. I also never said cis women were privileged over trans women overall, but that they're privileged over trans women on the axis of cis-privilege.
Also the perpetrators of these crimes are largely men assigned male at birth. Though it wouldn't surprise me if there are also female perpetrators, because bigotry is frequently internalized by a lot of people who are also the target of it. Our enemies and the dangers and discrimination we live with seem to be the same, though I do know that I am privileged over women of color, women with a handicap, queer women etc. It may also be possible that as an fab I am privileged over trans-women. I am not sure about this. As a white woman the chances of that are high.
Trans women face a lot of stuff cis women don't, they also of course face all the misogyny cis women face. This isn't to claim that being trans is the one true oppression or anything, but that there are the very real intersecting axis of transphobia and misogyny.
Also this is beginning to sound like the oppression Olympics as in "who has it worst", which doesn't matter because no bigotry is acceptable; so I am continuing on to another train of thought.
To be trully free and to take away a major tool of the patriarchy I do believe we need to abolish gender. Gender is a binary system that served no purpose other than to judge and control and exclude people. Sex is the proper term to refer to certain physical characteristics and that people have decided to misuse it as to represent certain acts between people does not mean the word isn't accurate. There are many worst that have more than one meaning and I don't see the other meaning of the word "sex" a reason to stop using it for what it was originally intended.
gender without taking away peoples choice to identify as whatever gender they want.
Gender is used to dictate what people may and may not do, wear; how people may or may not walk, talk, behave, etc. I find the whole concept oppressive. And being able to choose one out of two options really isn't much of a choice at all. It means you either choose one set of characteristics or another. You may not choose from both columns and why should there be only two columns to begin with?
Gender is not a binary system, at least not the way many trans and genderqueer and other activists use it. There's men, women, genderqueer people, bigender people, trigender people, androgynous people, agender people and so many more!
You cannot completely abolish gender without taking peoples right to determine their own gender. What's oppressive is using it to dictate stuff, that is, enforcing gender roles, or coersively assigning gender. Hell yeah that should be taken away, but that isn't gender itself.
The way I see gender is as something unique to everyone, but not something everyone has, as a mode of expression and thought combined in many cases with physical feelings (for the body and mind cannot, nowadays at least, be seperated). Some people love it, some people hate it, some people want nothing to do with it, some people have none, some people have more than one, some people switch from one to another.
Telling someone that this integral part of their identity needs to be abolished I take issue with.