Fugitivus Discussion Forum

(Taking it down)

It sounds like you were abused. Some of the things you listed sound very traumatic. You altogether come across as someone who's had a very harrowing experience.

Seeing a psychologist or a therapist sounds like a good idea to me, if you could find a good one and work all that out. One could help you figure out what to do with your life and how you can take steps to start living it. Public transportation may be a good idea, though it has its limits and sometimes it's not very pleasant, but it's a path to freedom.

Do you have insurance? What I've discovered I can do is call my insurance company and ask for listings of mental health care practitioners in my local area. Maybe you can do that, too.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this isolation and listlessness. I certainly hope you can find a way to improve your life. In a lot of ways I can relate to your experience; if you ever need to talk, I'd be up for that.

I do? I was afraid my suspicions were right.

Yeah, I have no doubt seeing a psychologist would be a good idea, but my bar for them is sky high. That and I'm scared of them. It was all I could do to work up the courage to call one and see the other one time (just to be blown off...) I'm not sure if public transportation comes out to where I live; it's not far off the beaten path, but it's far enough that our mailbox is two miles away. It's something to look into, though...see if they are wheelchair accessible (I can usually walk fine when I start a stressful day, but crawling is not out of the question in the middle of one). As far as I know, I'm not eligible for county assistance.

I have Medicare only. I looked several weeks ago, I think there was only one person in the area that takes Medicare, and last I checked, Medicare's mental health coverage was pretty shoddy. I was going to call that one, but got too nervous to do it.

Thank you for the offer, I can't say I will take you up on it, but I'll think about it, and I certainly appreciate it.

Yeah. Knowing that can be really hard to deal with, I think, so I hope saying that doesn't make it hard on you- but it seemed like you were looking for a second opinion.

Maybe you can tell whoever you go in to see that you have a lot of bad experiences and that there may need to be some trust building. Or you could write them a letter- some people have been doing that for physicians, and it sounds like a good idea. A letter telling them what they shouldn't do or say to you and what you need to be more comfortable.

All the buses I've been on are wheelchair accessible, but I've only tried public transportation in two cities. But I know that a lot of disabled people use the bus, so usually the city will arrange for public transportation that accommodates them. I certainly hope it comes out to where you live.

Hmmm, that doesn't sound ideal... would you be able to switch insurances? I'm on Pacificare and I find it very helpful as far as mental health services. I don't know much about these things, though, so I don't know how difficult or expensive it might be to go on a different insurance.

You're welcome, of course.

Yes, some of that definitely sounds like abuse to me.

Regarding your current situation, you might want to check out Virtual Ability, in Second Life. They have social events, and a reasonably good support network, and I think Gentle Heron (one of the founders) can even give you contact information for a few therapists who work online.

Eirwyn, I was looking for a second opinion, of sorts. Since I've only got my own experiences to look at for what's normal and I really do live under a rock, it's hard to come to such a conclusion when there are so many other obvious examples out there, or sleeping in the next bed or room growing up. Though yes, it's not easy to hear, and it'll probably take a bit to settle.

I play out in my mind what I would like to say, but it all comes out so confrontational. A letter might work. I know one thing that would be on it: "If you are unwilling to accept that my movement disorder is just as or more likely to have a medical etiology as a psychogenic one, then say so up front so we don't waste each other's time." It should be a given that there would be trust-building with a psychologist, unfortunately I know that's not always the case.

I know that public transportation doesn't regularly come out where I live, but some special service might. I just don't know off hand what sort would and how much they would cost.

No, I'm not able to switch insurances. Medicare is all I can afford. My mother looked into the possibility of switching me onto her insurance, but my medicine costs would skyrocket even if it were possible.

Adelene, that sounds interesting. I had heard of Second Life, but never considered it for something like virtual human contact. I might not be as agitated by online therapists...but I don't know. Interesting concept at least. Thank you for the link.

There are some books you can get that can help you with that. Adult Children of Abusive Parents might be good. It's by Steven Farmer. And there are a lot of websites for it- I think I found one that was run by therapists, so let me see if I can find it again for you if you want it. Here's one-> http://www.ascasupport.org/ right off the top of my head. They have downloadable resources and a forum. And of course, you can always talk here.

Well, I think a good psychologist would be able to handle confrontational. A good psychologist knows that it's not always about hir, that it has more to do with what's going on in the potential client's life and mind. I think what you've got there is pretty good so far.

Hmm... where do you live, if I may ask? It's okay if you don't want to tell me. (I usually try to keep my own location a secret.)

I'm sorry that you've had to cope with all of this, Ansalathon.

This was posted in one of the other threads as an example of a letter used to explain a personal situation to health care practitioners; you could always consider corresponding with therapists in this way to ascertain whether they'd be right for you.

I've said this somewhere before (I'm not sure where), but my suggestion for a starting point for finding a therapist is to find someone certified by the American Board of Professional Psychology (assuming you're in the US). I'm not saying that certification is enough to assure you that a therapist is right for you, or will not contribute to the problems you already have in dealing with mental health practitioners, but the requirement of professional development & continuing education means that you have a better chance of finding someone sufficiently aware of the needs of patients. Licensed practitioners are also required to post a notice in their practice giving the details of who to contact in regards to complaints about the practice of psychology (the Department of Consumer Affairs, usually). You are within your rights to ask any practitioner about the details of their license to practice, other professional certification and qualifications before you become a patient, or at any time during treatment. You can also contact your State licensing body to confirm license details.

Eirwyn, I'm not sure how wise books would be considering I still live with my parents. They as a rule respect my privacy (my dad more than my mom), but still, I am certain they would be really upset should they see me reading a book like that! If I can find something online or in a Kindle/e-book format, that would work better. Thanks for the link.

Maybe a good psychologist can handle confrontational, but I don't know. I've never met one. I really wish I didn't feel I needed to meet one : / I would love to have the wherewithal to walk out on them if I didn't like them, put I don't know if that would be counter-productive. It would probably be expensive.

I live in California--that's a close as I feel like narrowing it down right now.

Tevarre, that is a lovely letter. I like the snarky one. I wonder how hard it would be to adapt to psychologists. It's been a long time since I've seen one proper, so I don't know all the tings I'd want to say in it. I'll give it some thought though, because part of the reason they freak me out so bad is the tremendous power they can potentially wield over my life. A letter like that would help me feel like I had some control, I think.

I am in the US, and I searched the site you linked. I'd never heard of it before. There were only ~200 psychologists in the whole state. Bleh. That does not make things easy to get to one. If I want to see one, I'm just going to have to go through my parents, I think, for a ride : / Thank you for the other information...it's not something I generally think about. I usually just never see doctors I don't like again.

Oh, that's too bad... I'll try to look for some E-books for you, then, if you want.

Yeah, that's a problem... I tried to meet with my therapist first to see if I liked her but no one would let me. They seem to keep themselves closed off with their secretaries and all. So you'd only be able to find out by paying for a session. It might be good to have some questions on hand if you write a letter, to find out more quickly if this person can do what you want. I know it's a lot of trouble to go through, so I wish you luck on whatever you choose to do.

I did some searching around and I found out you can call 511 or 211 to ask about transportation services. They may not work for where you're at- I tried to see which states they're available in, but they did it on a city or county to county basis, and I don't know what city/county you live in. I also would have liked to link you, but for some reason the website I was using always has the same URL in the address bar no matter where you are on the site.